Space...

There's not much personal space to be had when you become a parent.  Peeing with the door open (or even with kids present in the room...), having a little, wiggly creature crawling all over you whenever you sit down, sharing every single piece of food...  it goes on forever!  This is yet another lesson I've been learning, and adjusting to.  More so, now that Logan is becoming more and more independent.  How's that for irony?

The more Logan can do for himself, the more he wants us to be involved with him.  Playing with cars and crayons are his favorite things to do these days.  Cars is a fairly independent game for him, but I need to watch where he's putting them.  Fitting them under, between, inside and behind furniture is his favorite.  Crayons and markers are definitely 100% supervised, and a joy, too!  He's becoming quite the little artist, I'm so proud!  

It also means he's getting into more "trouble", and starting to test more boundaries - hiding his cars in the sub-woofer and drawing on the floor with markers, for instance. 

I love my son, more than I could ever express, but some days, the "play with me, play with me" and meltdowns are just too much.

Let me backtrack a little here.  A couple of weeks ago, I ran out of my anti-depressant medication, and I've been forgetting to go get another prescription for it.  On good days, I wonder if I really need it anymore.  And then there's days like today - four hours of meltdowns from minute one this morning - when I'm pretty sure I should get my act together and get a refill on the happiness in a bottle.  There's been more yelling and frustration around here than I care to admit in the past two weeks, and while I'm sure being out of my meds is part of it, I can't say for certain that this is the whole issue.  I don't want to be one of "those" moms, always yelling and never getting anywhere.  

So why am I yelling?!  Because I've been with my son, 24/7 for who knows how long now, and he's getting on my nerves, and I haven't figure out a better way to deal with it.  Well, not entirely true; I did come up with a pretty brilliant solution that made me wonder why I didn't try it before today...  I put Logan to bed.

Yup, just picked him up, carried him to his room, and plopped him in there and walked away.  The old "walk away and breathe" method.

*Inhale, exhale*  It's much quieter around here right now, I did some dishes (which is oddly relaxing for me...), and I've had time to calm down myself.

When Logan wakes up, I'm going to give him a huge squeeze and apologize for yelling so much today.  

And tomorrow, I'm getting that prescription refilled!