Horror Stories Beyond Birth

One of the hot topics among pregnant women is, obviously, childbirth.  There are many, many beautiful childbirth stories out there that make pregnant women feel empowered, and confident about their upcoming birth.  But those are usually not the ones they hear.  Most of the time, they hear a horror story of pain and trauma.  Studies (and common sense) tell us that these are not good for a mother-to-be.  These horror stories can make a woman less confident in herself, and her body, which can lead to a difficult, and even traumatic experience.  Who wants that?

But is it any different for mothers after birth?  I doubt the new mother struggling with her newborn who never seems to sleep will benefit from the story of how you spent 15 hours rocking your baby because she wouldn't sleep otherwise.  Think about it.

I'm writing this at 1am, without my glasses on, because I had a very long, very difficult day with my son today.  He's had a low fever, and after only 8 hours of sleep yesterday night, would not sleep.  I'm talking 18 hours of sick, tired, cranky 17 month old.  Rough, hey?  It was, and I let everyone know on Facebook, naturally.  My friends and family were quite supportive, telling me I could get through it, and making helpful suggestions.  Their support helped me get through my day.

Sadly, a cousin of mine was also having a tough time yesterday, with her 2 year old.  The responses she received were less than supportive...  "just you wait, 3,4 and 5 are no better!", "It only gets worse!" and so on.  There were only a few who offered encouragement.  It made me sad.  Will her day be any better tomorrow?  I certainly hope so.  But she will have all those comments in her head, and how will they affect her mood?  And how will her mood affect her boy, and in turn, the outcome of their day?

I know I've been guilty of it, and I'm sure I'll slip up once in a while, but I'm definitely going to watch what I say to parents who are having a bad day.

Even a simple, "this day will end soon" is worth a million times more to a parent than your tale of a similar experience.  

I'll end it there, and let it sink in.